Monday, January 26, 2015

I am sitting in the school library, by the window on the second floor. Building 3 is across the small green, and the tiny campus is tucked into a pocket of fog in the farmlands west of the city. My eyelids are heavy because they sprung open at 7.30 this morning, and because this is the first long day of the first long week of the term. It is week 4 of the term already (somehow), but this week my classload doubles. It is a lot of talk of scramble and busyness, but really it is unadulterated glory. I love my leather briefcase, my commute along skyline through flickering afternoon sunlight, my office, all the trappings of this real life, this real career that seems to finally be something thick enough to knock on, breathe around. It is all tenuous, and I know that every term has potential for drastic change, but sitting here in this plush chair with the grey out the window, I am happy. I am deep down, full-bellied happy.

And despite the ever-nagging fear of falling, fear of failure, I am wise enough to revel in this moment while it's with me. Here I am. This is the life I get to live today, and I am grateful.

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